Family Matters

Posted on December 20, 2025 by Brian H. Gill
ABC Television's photo: the fictional Cleaver family, from 1960s 'Leave it to Beaver', television series. Left, Hugh Beaumont (Ward); center left, Tony Dow (Wally); center right, Barbara Billingsley (June); right, Jerry Mathers (Theodore AKA 'Beaver'). (January 8, 1960)
The fictional Cleaver family, from “Leave it to Beaver”. (1960)

One way or another, families have been in the news this week.

That is not a good thing.

Families gathering on a beach planned on celebrating the first day of Hanukkah last Sunday. Then a father-son duo killed 15 of them and wounded dozens more. That father’s dead now, too.

News media covering the break in finals week routines at Brown University cycled through to discussions of the dead students’ family connections.

Rob Reiner and his wife abruptly stopped living last weekend. Police arrested Reiner’s youngest son, charging him with killing the couple.1

That left me feeling even less happy than usual about what’s in my news feed: which, together with a quote I saw in an Advent calendar, got me started thinking.

Life, Death, and Duties

Photo: Brian H. Gill, at his desk. (March 2021)
Me, at my desk, in 2021.

If you’re bracing yourself for a rant about how “All in the Family” and “The Princess Bride” destroyed the American family, or why we need tougher university control laws, relax.

I won’t do that, partly because it’s silly. Besides, there’s a superabundance of sound and fury getting flung around as it it is.

On the other hand, I’ve got a thought or two to share.

For one thing, I think that murder isn’t nice and we shouldn’t do it.

That’s my personal opinion, but there’s more to the idea than a single individual’s preferences.

Since I’m a Catholic, and take my faith seriously, I’ve got some counter-cultural ideas about life, death, and making sense:

  • Human life — all human life — is sacred, a gift from God
    (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2258)
  • Murder, intentionally killing an innocent person, is wrong
    (Catechism, 2268)
  • Suicide, intentionally killing oneself, is wrong
    (Catechism, 2280-2283)
  • It’s complicated
    (Catechism, 2258-2317)

For another, families — mom, dad, kids, grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces, cousins and all that — are important. Again, not just my personal opinion.

Families are the “original cell of social life”. Each family matters. But families aren’t all that matters. The top of my priority list is where God belongs. (Catechism, 2113, 2207)

There’s more I could say about families and what I believe. Basically, it’s complicated. (Catechism, 2199-2233)

I’ll settle for sharing an excerpt from something Pope Leo XIV said in June, along with some of my thoughts.

Good Ideas

Edgar Beltrán/The Pillar's photo: 'Pope Leo XIV on the loggia after his election' (May 8,2025)
Pope Leo XIV. (May 8,2025)

“…I encourage you, then, to be examples of integrity to your children, acting as you want them to act, educating them in freedom through obedience, always seeing the good in them and finding ways to nurture it. And you, dear children, show gratitude to your parents. To say ‘thank you’ each day for the gift of life and for all that comes with it is the first way to honour your father and your mother (cf. Ex 20:12). Finally, dear grandparents and elderly people, I recommend that you watch over your loved ones with wisdom and compassion, and with the humility and patience that come with age.

“In the family, faith is handed on together with life, generation after generation. It is shared like food at the family table and like the love in our hearts. In this way, families become privileged places in which to encounter Jesus, who loves us and desires our good, always….”
(Homily, Holy Mass for the Jubilee of Families, Children, Grandparents and the Elderly, Pope Leo XIV (June 1, 2025)) [emphasis mine] [second paragraph quoted in USCCB’s Advent Calendar for 2025]

About saying ‘thank you’ every day, I’m pretty sure the pope didn’t mean using those exact words — or even using spoken, or written, language to get the idea across. How we act matters at least as much as what we say. Maybe more. Probably more.

I think an important point is that each of us have responsibilities in our families: children and parents. (Catechism, 2214-2233)

Those responsibilities didn’t stop when I became an adult, or when our children became adults. We’ve still got responsibilities. One of them is not trying to tell my kids how to run their lives. (Catechism, 2232-2233)

For me and my wife, we’ve been blessed with ‘good kids’.

I suspect it helped that we know what we believe, why we believe it, and at least try acting as if what we believe matters.

The kids not making really daft decisions is certainly a factor, too. We’ve all got free will, and that’s another topic.

Not expecting or demanding that this be a ‘perfect family’ — that arguably helped, too.

I’ve talked about, or at least mentioned, this sort of thing before:

1 In the week’s news:

Posted in Being Catholic, Discursive Detours | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

A New Archbishop: Cooperation and Making Sense

Posted on December 18, 2025 by Brian H. Gill

We got a new pope this year, Leo XIV.

Now we’ve got a new archbishop for the Archdiocese of New York.

Already I’m seeing the all-too-predictable headlines.

I also noticed this excerpt from a transcript of a five-minute interview, complete with an embedded audio recording of the interview:

“New Archbishop of New York: Church must bring God’s peace, healing to world”
Devin Watkins, Vatican News (December 18, 2025)

“… ‘I grew up in the suburb right next door to Pope Leo, about 14 blocks away from each other. And like Pope Leo, I’m looking for a Church that brings God’s light to the world, His peace, His healing, His love.

“‘I’m also looking forward to ways of doing so, not in a divisive way or tearing people apart, but looking for ways of unity and finding ways to cooperate with each other.

“‘And you brought up Pope Leo: I just want to publicly say I want to cooperate with him. I want to respect his priorities and work with him to help bring those to reality, to light.

“I’m just very grateful to Pope Leo, and I want to say it’s been my joy and honor serving both Chicago and Joliet. And I’m ready, with the help of God, to make this next step into New York.'”

Sound quality isn’t the best, but it’s clear enough.

I’m sharing this because I think there’s some value in reading or hearing what someone says; not just what some expert says he said, or what he really meant when he said it.

The interviewer brought up a hot-button topic, so I’m pretty sure that some folks will be offended by what Archbishop Hicks said. Or what he didn’t say. Or how he said what he did say. Or why the pope shouldn’t have appointed someone whose name is Hicks.

I’m not going to do any of that.

I’m not going to talk about popes, being Catholic, or living in a world where some folks speak languages other than English.

Partly because I’ve already talked about this sort of thing, recently:

CNS photo/Vatican Media: Pope Francis giving his blessing to participants in an international conference on the ongoing formation of priests in the Paul VI Audience Hall, Vatican City. (February 8, 2024)
Pope Francis and international conference participants in Paul VI Audience Hall, Vatican City. (2024)
Posted in Being Catholic, Discursive Detours | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Free Vacation for Two Tiny Owls

Posted on December 17, 2025 by Brian H. Gill
Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission photo, via Smithsonian Magazine 'The small owls seem to be attracted to lush, green, park-like areas aboard cruise ships, as also seen during the 2023 incident'. (December 17, 2025)
Stowaway owl on a cruse ship.

There’s a serious side to this, too, since cruise ships are optimized for humans, not owls.

“These Owls Took a Free Vacation on a Cruise Ship—but Soon They’ll Be Heading Home”
Sarah Kuta, Smithsonian Magazine (December 17, 2025)
“A pair of burrowing owls made themselves at home aboard Royal Caribbean International’s Allure of the Seas in February, joining a trans-Atlantic sailing to Spain. They’ll return to the United States next month

“…Nobody noticed the tiny owls until the voyage was already underway. They’d apparently taken up residence in Central Park, a large, green, open-air neighborhood aboard the ship with more than 12,000 plants. Passengers spotted the pair hanging out in the park, as well as at the vessel’s miniature golf course and in the solarium….”

Something like this happened a couple years back when another burrowing owl — just one that time — stowed away on Royal Caribbean International’s Symphony of the Seas.

After folks found this pair, crew members caught them: and then saw to it that they had food and water for the rest of the trip.

At the moment they’re staying at a wildlife rescue center in Murcia, Spain. Wildlife officials in Florida are setting up a return flight in mid-January, followed by release “into the wild—likely, to an urban environment that’s similar to the one they were accustomed to in Miami before they boarded the ship”.

Why they apparently won’t be taken back to Miami? That, I don’t know.

Reading this article was fun, so I figured you might like a heads-up; along with a sample photo and excerpt.

About animals and being serious, I’ve talked about that before:

Posted in Discursive Detours | Tagged | Leave a comment

Comfort For a Recovering English Teacher

Posted on December 13, 2025 by Brian H. Gill
Google Street View: Wee'l Turtle in Dunseith, ND. (September 2024)
Dunseith, North Dakota, Frontage Road SW.

My memory, like my father’s, is occasionally creative. I remembered a someone writing that England’s public schools were dedicated to the idea “…that Tennyson would never happen again….” Then, recently, I started re-reading a Wodehouse book.

“…It was almost as if these [English public] schools, founded in the 1830s, had it for their main objective that Shelley and Byron would never happen again….”
(Introduction by Wilfred Sheed (1975) to “Leave in to Psmith”, P. G. Wodehouse (1924))

That both corrected my memory of the passage and, along with something my oldest daughter showed me, started me writing this post.

I’ll get to that, after a clarification or three.

“Public” Schools, Puritans, Progressives, and Attitudes

Thomas Nast's 'The foreign church (Roman) declaring war upon our national public school'. Harper's Weekly (November 8, 1873)
“The foreign church (Roman) declaring war upon our national public school”
Thomas Nast, Harper’s Weekly magazine. (November 8, 1873)

English public schools aren’t “public” the way American public schools are.

In England, “public” schools will take students from anywhere: provided that their parents pay them to process the kids. Over here, we’d call them “private” schools.

American “public” schools are government entities, with a convoluted history going back to colonial days.

Basically, they started with New England Puritans and got a boost in the Progressive Era, so you know they’re a wonderful idea.

Thomas Nast's 'The American River Ganges,' warning Americans against the Catholic threat. (May 8, 1875)
“The American River Ganges”, Thomas Nast, Harper’s Weekly magazine. (May 8, 1875)

Or not, depending on how closely one looks at my country’s history: and, of course, individual viewpoints.1

I think learning to read, write, do basic arithmetic, and getting introduced to various crafts, are good ideas.

I even think that giving the children of recent immigrants, not-so-recent immigrants, and folks whose ancestors made treaties that weren’t recognized until my youth, a ‘This is America 101’ briefing is a good idea. Or could be.

But as the sort of person ardent promoters of American public schools saw as a threat, I’m not a huge fan of the system. Not as it developed.

The year I spent trying to teach in one of these processing units affected, I’ll grant, my perceptions and opinions.

My Year as a Teacher

Google Maps: Dunseith, North Dakota.
Dunseith, North Dakota: south of the International Peace Garden and Turtle Mountains.

My first, and last, teaching job was in Dunseith, North Dakota. Then, as now, a few hundred folks call it home.2 Urban amenities like traffic jams and gangs were in short supply, but I liked the town and my neighbors.

The high school: I don’t know what was going on there.

Teachers were, I think, trying to teach their subjects. So was I: English, journalism, and something else I forget.

The folks running the place: again, I don’t know what was going on. I do know that anomalies encouraged me to start a journal, which I later turned over to folks involved with the teacher’s union.

And yes, I was in a union: my first and last experience with that American institution, which is another topic for another time.

The only oddity that stayed in my memory was being told to stand watch outside another teacher’s classroom and report undesirable behavior. I am not making that up.

At the end of the school year, the school administration didn’t renew my contract. I also learned that I was, ostensibly, responsible for the school’s woes — the last half-dozen-plus years of them.

Folks I’d gotten to know there told me that the accusation was, I’ll be polite, a lot of hooey. And standard practice for labeling new teachers who failed to win approval.

At that, I fared better than the school counselor.

The Curious Case of the Vanishing Counselor

He was, ethnically, like many of the students: someone whose ancestors had been here since long before Vikings, and then other Europeans, got interested in this continent.

Part-way through the school year he disappeared, showing up later several states over before coming back to his office.

My guess is that he knew more about what was going on than I did, took what was happening to the kids far more personally, and decided that his sanity would benefit from an unscheduled break in routine.

I hope that unofficial sabbatical helped. I liked him, and think he took what should have been his job seriously.

A Student Newspaper and ‘Problem’ Students

My time there wasn’t all bleak.

As part of teaching journalism, I had the class put together a school newspaper.

They did a pretty good job, and I think they enjoyed what they were doing. Partly, I suspect, because I told them, after sketching out how the publication could be organized, that I was around for any technical questions they had, and that it was their paper: the content was up to them.

There was some sort of dramatic presentation, too, but I don’t remember much about that.

Another high point came as my wife and I were packing, getting ready to leave. A small group of the ‘problem students’ came to apologize for being the reason I was leaving.

I assured them that we were okay, and that they weren’t the problem. I hope I phrased it well enough.

Seriously: they were ‘problem students’, and had attitude in abundance. But, when it comes to that, I have attitude. And I wasn’t facing more time in that institution.

They were — okay, and I was okay with them. I’ll leave it at that.

Making a Difference

Google Street View: Wee'l Turtle in Dunseith, ND. (September 2024)
The Wee’l Turtle in Dunseith, North Dakota.

Our oldest daughter was very young when we lived in Dunseith. We lived near the school, and near a Dunseith landmark: the Wee’l Turtle, a massive sculpture made of implement wheels, if my memory serves.

She loved that turtle.

Fast-forward about four decades. I remember the turtle, but she doesn’t. She does, however, remember my talking about the school, the kids, and my concerns.

Last week, she shared this with me:

“Hey! Just got this response to a comment I made ranting about your old teaching job:”

‘I’m Crow and my aunt is a retired teacher. I just wanted you to know that there are now many college educated Crow Indian teachers. My cousin’s daughter is a Principal at a small school on the Rez. My cousin is being encouraged to apply for the Principal position at another small town school. My ex teaches Crow Language for grades K-8 at an academy on the Rez. Maybe your Dad taught my cousin or my ex. He made a difference. Let him know.’

(From a Discord chat with my oldest daughter (December 3, 2025)

Following that person’s recommendation, she let me know.

Reading it was a real comfort.

The degree to which I made a difference, that’s something I still don’t know. Not for sure. But it’s reassuring to hear that some good has come out of a situation I was briefly part of.

America’s Founding Ideals, Ongoing Efforts

Screenshot from WCCO YouTube video: 'Historic Church, Damaged By Arson, Opens Doors To Public' (June 14, 2016)
St. Mary’s in Melrose, Minnesota, a few miles down the road: torched in 2016. (WCCO (June 2016))

Finally, the usual links; this week, how I see America’s ongoing efforts to act as if our founding ideals matter — and living in a country where some citizens don’t approve of people like me:

1 An author, two poets, English “public” schools, and (briefly) schools in America:

2 A small town south of the Turtle Mountains and a special place:

Posted in Discursive Detours, Family Stories, Journal, Series | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Charged: a Priest in My Diocese

Posted on December 9, 2025 by Brian H. Gill
Google Maps: central Minnesota.
Central Minnesota, including Stearns County/St. Cloud area. (Google Maps)

No matter how it turns out, this is not good news. And it’s uncomfortably close to home.

“Minnesota priest accused of sexual abuse, threatening woman”
Bring Me The News (December 8, 2025)

“A Minnesota priest is accused of sexually abusing, physically assaulting and threatening to kill a woman who sought spiritual guidance from him, according to new criminal charges…

“Joseph Herzing, 61, was charged late last month in Stearns County District Court with third-degree criminal sexual conduct, stalking and three counts of threatening violence.…

“…St. Cloud police launched an investigation last year after the woman came forward with the allegations….

“…In one of the incidents, the woman confronted Herzing about a text message from a person she suspected he was having an intimate relationship with.

“Charges allege Herzing became ‘irate’, choked the woman, wrestled her to the ground, hit her head against the pavement, pulled her hair and threatened to kill her.

“In another 2022 incident, the woman was riding on Herzing’s motorcycle when he allegedly threatened to kill the woman and himself by driving into a tree. He then drove into oncoming traffic towards a semi-truck and swerved after the semi honked to avoid collision, charges state….

“…The statement confirms diocesan leadership ‘was made aware of potential inappropriate behavior between Father Herzing and an adult’ in 2022, but claims ‘there was no indication of physical or sexual misconduct.’

“Then-Bishop Donald Kettler met with Father Herzing and immediately placed him on administrative leave to undergo a comprehensive professional evaluation,” the St. Cloud Diocese shared. ‘Father Herzing then entered and completed a residential treatment program.’…”
[emphasis mine]

First off, all I know about this is what I read in that Bring Me The News article, and the St. Cloud Diocese statement:

November 27, 2025: A statement regarding Father Joe Herzing
News Release, Diocese of St. Cloud
Media Contact: Kristi Anderson, Director of Communications

“…In September 2024, Bishop Neary was informed that a report was made to authorities related to the concerns raised in 2022 and that an investigation was underway. The bishop allowed Father Herzing to continue as pastor while remaining under restrictions and monitoring.

“When Bishop Neary was alerted of the criminal charges on Nov. 26, 2025. Father Herzing was immediately placed on full administrative leave….

“…Bishop Neary remains committed to transparency, accountability and the protection of all involved.

“‘We have a responsibility to protect the safety and dignity of every person. My commitment is to ensure that our response is clear and rooted in care for all those affected. We will continue to cooperate fully with authorities and accompany our communities with honesty and compassion.'”

“Bishop Neary asks the faithful to join him in prayer and encourages all victims of abuse to come forward to civil authorities or diocesan victim advocates….”
[emphasis mine]

As my wife pointed out, this is very early days. The charges are, I hope obviously, serious.

I think it is possible that the current re-investigation will uncover evidence that offenses were committed. Or that they weren’t.

Attitudes and Assumptions

Thomas Nast's ''DON'T BELIEVE IN THAT', 'What the Irish Roman Catholic Children will be told to do next. Kick it out peaceably'. Harper's Weekly (November 18, 1871) see https://digital.library.cornell.edu/catalog/ss:3293832
Thomas Nast’s cartoon, ‘DON’T BELIEVE IN THAT’, Harper’s Weekly (November 18, 1871)

Either way, I very strongly suspect that there will be the usual ‘you know what Catholics are like’ attitudes expressed.

On the other hand, maybe more folks have learned that ‘those Catholics’ aren’t dangerous outsiders, a threat to their country and their families.

About what Bishop Neary said, I realize that prayer won’t solve everything.

Neither, for that matter, will having civil authorities investigate — or, if I’m reading it right, re-investigating — these charges. No matter what laws are passed and how many times investigators investigate, some people who should know better will act badly.

And some folks ‘who should know better’ will show by their actions that they do know better.

Making Sense

Rembrandt's sketched figure composition: 'Jesus und Ehebrecherin', 'Jesus and the Adulteress'. (ca. 1639-41)
Rembrandt’s “Jesus and the Adulteress”. (ca. 1640)

Me? Even though I’m aware that my prayers — and my actions — won’t magically make everyone behave, I’ll keep praying.

And I’ll keep saying that loving God, loving my neighbors, and remembering that everyone is my neighbor, makes sense. (Matthew 5:43–44, 22:36–40; Mark 12:28–31; Luke 6:31, 10:25–27, 29–37; Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2196)

Finally, no matter how this turns out, I’ll keep being a Catholic. That’s because I take Jesus seriously, and realize that we live in a distinctly non-ideal world:

Posted in Being Catholic, Discursive Detours, Journal | Tagged , , | 2 Comments