“Doing Something Wrong”: Just a Thought

I ran across remarks made by a Utah politician earlier today.

This isn’t the source I stumbled on, but it’s the one I could find when I tried searching for it, later:

Utah Lt. Gov. Apologizes to LGBT Community in Emotional Speech Honoring Victims of Orlando Shooting
ABC News (June 16, 2016)

“…’And I am speaking now to the straight community,’ he told the crowd. ‘How did you feel when you heard that 49 people had been gunned down by a self-proclaimed terrorist? That’s the easy question. Here is the hard one: Did that feeling change when you found out the shooting was at a gay bar at 2 a.m. in the morning? If that feeling changed, then we are doing something wrong.’…”
[emphasis mine]

I’m not ‘political’, so I won’t try either extolling or slandering Spencer Cox — he’s the person who made that “I am speaking” statement, is currently Utah’s governor, and is newsworthy again for another reason.

I am, however, a Catholic who tries acting as if what I say I believe matters.

That includes acting as if loving my neighbor is a good idea. I’ll get back to that, briefly.

Seeing my neighbor’s viewpoint — arguably part of that ‘loving my neighbor’ thing — is easier in some cases, than in others. Having had parallel experiences helps.

“Affect Display” and Perceptions

…I’d been having my usual frustrating experience, being one of the 99-plus out of a hundred or so job applicants who didn’t get hired. I’ve since learned that my affect or affect display isn’t squarely on the 50th percentile, which didn’t help.

“Affect display” is psychobabble for verbal and non-verbal displays of emotion. I’m a very emotional man, and — well, apparently I don’t consistently act normal.

Anyway, back to frustrations, me, and a career counselor. We’d been discussing incentives I might offer a potential employer, including government funding.

He asked me if I was homosexual. Turns out, the question made sense: during the ’70s in the Upper Midwest, at any rate. For one thing, bias against homosexuals made — I think it was still called affirmative action — an option.

For another, I fit the profile.

I’m creative, articulate and not obsessed with sports. I can’t swear, some four decades later, to “articulate” being in the mix. But I’m pretty sure that talking like I was at least a little smart was part of the reason I fit the homosexual profile.

But, despite fitting the profile, I’m not homosexual. Which is no great virtue. I’ve got issues, lots of issues: but not that particular one.

Learning that nice, normal folks might perceive me as homosexual, however, explained a few otherwise puzzling interactions I’d had….
(“Taking People, Pride and Dignity Seriously: June 2022” > Fitting a Profile (June 11, 2022))[emphasis mine, for this post]

I said I was going to get back to that “loving my neighbor” thing, so here it is.

Loving My Neighbors: It Comes With the Territory

I’m a Catholic, so I should love my neighbor, and see everyone as my neighbor. Everyone. No exceptions. (Matthew 5:4344, 22:3640; Mark 12:2831; Luke 6:31, 10:2527, 2937; Catechism, 1789, 2196)

Some of my neighbors are more ‘lovable’ than others. But picking and choosing my neighbors isn’t an option.

That story Jesus told about the crime victim who was helped by — of all people — a Samaritan makes that clear.

Loving my neighbor doesn’t necessarily mean approving of what my neighbor does, and that’s another topic.

I’ve talked about this sort of thing before:

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About Brian H. Gill

I was born in 1951. I'm a husband, father and grandfather. One of the kids graduated from college in December, 2008, and is helping her husband run businesses and raise my granddaughter; another is a cartoonist and artist; #3 daughter is a writer; my son is developing a digital game with #3 and #1 daughters. I'm also a writer and artist.
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3 Responses to “Doing Something Wrong”: Just a Thought

  1. I remember how I studied under Salesian management during my high school years and how I also had gay schoolmates and even a gay teacher or two there, and most, if not all, were flamboyant and even smart. Looking back at those years, I feel like the intolerance I witnessed there came a lot from my fellow youths and quite little from our elders there, and I don’t think I really saw smartness as a sign of queerness even then. And now I think that my high sensitivity had and still has me a bit too invested in those stories about queer folks struggling to deal with worse intolerance. Certainly, intolerance is a problem, but so is unforgiveness, especially when blended with the desire to be normalized.

    • “Flamboyant” – that’s an apt term, in this context. Looking back, I’m not sure that smartness alone was a ‘profile’ marker – – – more like something that was taken as confirming assumptions made on the basis of other factors.

      As for problems, humanity and each of us has a wide assortment to deal with: thanks to a really bad decision made, way back, and that’s another topic. Thanks for reading & commenting, and – may God bless.

Thanks for taking time to comment!